


Rilienus

by l_e_crivainsolitaire



Series: In Symbols, His Words [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Drama, Drama & Romance, M/M, One Shot, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 17:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13641156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_e_crivainsolitaire/pseuds/l_e_crivainsolitaire
Summary: We grew up together. Our hands entwined as children, playing softly, gently with small laughs and shy smiles. I learned his name easily and I said it often."Rilienus." I called.And Rilienus called back.





	Rilienus

We grew up together. Our hands entwined as children, playing softly, gently with small laughs and shy smiles. I learned his name easily and I said it often.

"Rilienus." I called.

And Rilienus called back.

 

It’s easy to remember, the sun rising as we walked the cobblestones and rocks. So close to the edge, the sea could swallow us whole.

It’s easy to remember. My name whispered and shouted, bringing me up into the surface of the water. And Rilienus showed me how good it is to breathe. In quiet moments, in twilight, for short moments Rilienus spoke so earnestly. And Rilienus said it so often, "I will not see you hurt."

I answered, always, with a smile. "Yes. Yes." I would say this with no thought. But Rilienus meant it and I didn't know.

 

Little by little, I knew. How skin burns and flowers bloom. How the sea looks more beautiful. How the sky is more vast. How eyes glitter and sparkle. How the shape of his back forms. Arms, legs, neck, face. How all is so easy to look at. To admire. How easy it is to consume every part and every secret.

And how I basked in it. Stayed silent, watching with gentle eyes, but basked in its light and smiles and touches.

 

I was happy…

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

...for a while.

 

Father returned with responsibilities on his back and reputations impossible to follow. A hardness on his brow and a sternness in his cheeks. His mouth was tight and in lines. Shoulders squared and big.

We lived in a farce. And it came easy.

 

"No, mother does not drink."

and

"Yes, father loves his son."

  
  
  
  
  


Years passed. I understand my role. And all colors faded. I poured my best into father’s cup, filling it with the finest wine and letting him get drunk on my public success.

Then, in a blink, furiously in darkness. I fall. Not understanding this second place.

Bested by Rilienus who holds my hand. Rilienus smiles and jests. No burdens sit on Rilienus shoulders. But Rilienus smiled and smiled and smiled and I thought nothing of it. And light danced in my eyes.

My wine is sour but I poured them into things I love.

 

We laughed through the halls of the Pavus manor, so dark and cold, warming up just a bit. But in here, fallacies are ripped open for all to see. Father’s hand raised above his head and the sting on my cheek. Tears threatened to fall.

Truths continue to stay hidden, “Yes, father loves his son.”

Warm hands are on my face. Secret meetings and quiet conversations—whispered so softly, the wind cannot hear them. Rilienus held my hand, while Rilienus tells me, "I will not see you hurt."

  
  
  
  
  


Soon, we are older, stronger. Rilienus holds my hand and I am the best.

“What a smart young man.”

“What a handsome young man.”

“Nothing can beat you.”

“You’re a role model to your peers.”

Again and again. Praise after praise. Building my ego, building my false happiness. And still, Rilienus held my hand so tightly. Smiling, never faltering.

 

I was the best and father drank from that cup. "Yes, my son is brilliant.” Lies continued like this. “Yes, I am proud of my son.” And like this.

Father poured his wine in my cup, singing praises in public, hissing in private. And truths blossom, “Do better, son.” And again, he said, “Be better, son.”

 

 

 

 

Then I saw, clearly. While my brow sweated from hard work, Rilienus held my hand.

“Isn’t this difficult?” Rilienus said and I wondered why Rilienus lied.

“Wow, you’re amazing! I had trouble with this.” Again Rilienus lied and held my hand tighter and tighter.

Suspicion sat like demons on backs and I opened that door.

I was first and Rilienus held my hand in second.

I was second and Rilienus held my hand in third.

I was third and Rilienus held my hand in fourth.

Rilienus told me, quietly. "I will not see you hurt."

But confusion sat like demons on backs and I opened that door. Cracking it like skulls on pavement.

I was last and Rilienus held my hand with nothing on the other end.

I was relentless.

Still, Rilienus told me quietly. "I will not see you hurt."

 

But lies do not hide all.

“My son is better than you.” A lie.

“You are less than my son.” Another lie.

 

My hands were cold and I said, “Rilienus is better than me.” And quietly, like small confessions, “I will not see him hurt.”

  
  
  
  
  


 

Everything was so sweet. Away and away I went. Dancing like a madman, kicking my feet and sticking my hands in the mud. Rilienus held my hand and poured the wine. I drank it like water.

I was drunk and Rilienus knew.

We stay like this, hand in hand. Lips on on lips. Skin on skin.

  
  
  
  


 

I returned with confidence on my shoulders, happiness on my brow, and my lips curled into a smile. But winter came and fallacies continued.

 

"Yes, my son will marry the girl."

 

“No.” I said. 

 

And blood spilled, and ghouls moaned.

“Yes. My son will marry the girl.”

  
  


It was enough.

I ran.

Holding Rilienus hand. We laughed and sang and danced.

“I will not see you hurt.” Rilienus says, lips tasting so sweet. Bodies entwined and slick with sweat and seed and love.

Rilienus said this. Again and again. Truths spilled from him—like ichor from the veins of gods. Nectar and wine and fruit. Everything beautiful tumbling from his tongue, washing my skin in light.

Then—

Hands outstretched, eyes gleaming, tempting me to take it. My hands reached out, ready.

 

But...

 

 

 

 

 

...some lies were part of a truth.

 

“Yes, I am proud of my son.”

 

And I hesitated.

 

One.

  
  


 

 

 

Two.

  
  


 

 

 

Three.

  
  


 

 

 

Rilienus sailed away. No words, no farewells. Just tears and a heavy heart.

 

 

 

 

 

I returned, with responsibilities on my back and reputations impossible to follow. A hardness on my brow and a sternness in my cheeks. My mouth was tight and in lines. I poured my wine, and drank. 

 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Partly connected to In Symbols, His Name. More Dorian backstory in my point of view. His first love is really similar to Ry'del's. Ha! HAha!. cries.
> 
> Okay... let us talk.
> 
> I was thinking hard on Dorian in terms of In Symbols, and I thought it would be interesting to see his contrast to now. Like back them his relationships would be shaky and stuff but now with Ry'del he's all like No way am I letting this go. So this I guess shows how his resolve has matured and became stronger euhrhrhsj. I guess. Idk.


End file.
